Is Your Infant or Toddler on Track?
FREE Social Emotional Skills Checklist for ages 0-3
How do you know if your infant or toddler is on track socially and emotionally?
That’s one of the most common questions parents and caregivers ask — and it’s a great one. The Social-Emotional Skills Checklist below is designed to help you tune in. For many families, going through it is one of those “aha” moments: a chance to name something that felt off, or to feel reassured that things are going well.
Development doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
Before you dive in, it helps to remember that social-emotional development is shaped by many factors — not just what’s happening inside your child, but all around them. Things like the quality of early attachment, the richness of daily social interactions, your child’s individual temperament and personality, your own knowledge and confidence as a caregiver, access to support and basic necessities, and even your own resilience as a parent all play a role. No single factor tells the whole story.
So what makes something a red flag?
Not every challenge on this list signals a problem. Some behaviors — like separation anxiety — are a completely normal and healthy part of development. The key is to look at three things together:
- Does the behavior persist over time?
- Is the intensity out of proportion to the situation?
- Does it consistently interfere with your child’s daily activities and routines?
When the answer to all three is yes, that’s worth paying attention to.
The first 3 years matter enormously
The window from birth to age three is considered a critical period in early development. During this time, the neurological foundations for learning, emotional regulation, and mental health are being built. The everyday experiences and relationships your child has with their primary caregivers are literally shaping how their brain grows. That’s not meant to add pressure — it’s actually good news, because it means early support can make a real difference.
If something doesn’t feel right, trust that instinct.
Parenting is one of the most meaningful roles there is — and also one of the most demanding. If your child seems to be struggling with many of the challenges described below, and things aren’t improving over time, don’t wait.
Bring your concerns to your child’s pediatrician or primary health care provider. Early intervention exists precisely for these moments, and getting support sooner rather than later can help prevent further delays in development.
You know your child better than anyone. Asking questions is always the right move.
You know your child better than anyone. Asking questions is always the right move.
10 Red Flags to Be Aware Of
Every child develops at their own pace, but certain patterns are worth bringing to your care team’s attention. Here are ten of the most important signs to watch for in the first three years:
- No smiling or joyful expressions.
A social smile — that first real, responsive grin — typically appears by 6 to 8 weeks. If your baby rarely smiles, makes little eye contact, or shows very little emotion overall, that’s worth mentioning to your pediatrician early.
- Limited or absent eye contact.
Eye contact is one of the first ways babies connect. If your child consistently avoids eye contact during face-to-face interactions — especially with you — it can be an early signal worth exploring.
- Not responding to their name by 12 months.
By their first birthday, most babies will reliably turn toward their name when called. Consistent failure to respond — not just occasionally, but as a pattern — is a red flag for social-communication development.
- No pointing, showing, or shared attention by 12 months.
Does your child point to things to show you? Follow your gaze when you look at something? This back-and-forth — called joint attention — is a foundational social skill. Its absence by 12 months is one of the earliest indicators of potential autism spectrum concerns.
- Not seeking comfort from you when upset.
It’s natural for babies and toddlers to turn to their primary caregiver when they’re scared or hurt. If your child consistently avoids or ignores you when distressed — rather than seeking you out — that’s an important pattern to discuss.
- Extreme distress at separation that doesn’t settle even after you return.
Some separation anxiety is completely normal. But if your child’s distress is intense and cannot be soothed even after you come back, and this happens repeatedly, it may signal something beyond typical development.
- Loss of skills they already had.
If your child was saying words, making sounds, or engaging socially — and then stopped — pay attention. Regression in language or social skills is always worth evaluating promptly.
- Persistent sadness, withdrawal, or flat mood lasting more than two weeks.
Babies and toddlers can experience depression. If your child seems consistently sad, unusually quiet, or emotionally flat for more than two weeks, that’s a meaningful sign — not just a phase to wait out.
- Persistent fearful or anxious behavior that gets in the way of everyday life.
Freezing, trembling, clinging, or refusing activities due to fear — especially when the fear seems disproportionate or isn’t easing over time — is worth exploring with a professional.
- Hypervigilance, freezing, or replaying frightening events in play.
If your child seems constantly on guard, startles easily at ordinary sounds, or repeatedly acts out scary scenarios in their play, these can be signs of stress or trauma responses that benefit from early support.
Remember: One item on this list, on its own, doesn’t tell the whole story. It’s the persistence, intensity, and impact on daily life that matter most — and you don’t have to figure that out alone.
FREE OT SCREENING CHECKLIST
Infant and Toddler Mental Health Screening Checklist (For ages 0-3)
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